In his book, “True Love: A Practice for Awakening the Heart,” Thich Nhat Hanh, A Vietnamese monk has written, “You must love in such a way that the person you love feels free.” I have recently found this quote and honestly, even though I have not read this book (I am now adding it to my reading list), it resonated with me.
In my previous relationships, I always felt like I got lost. I felt like I gave up who I was for happiness. I also felt like I bounced from relationship to relationship to have that “freedom.” Looking back on it now, I can definitely blame feeling lost on my people pleasing persona and my codependent tendencies.
Currently, I do feel ”free” in my relationship with Mike. I feel ”free” to be myself. Yes, Mike had a lot to do with that, but, also loving myself helped me earn that ”freedom”. It took me learning to believe that my needs were important. It took me learning to speak my mind. It took me knowing my self worth. It has taken years for me to reach this point and there have been painful times and joyful times. Each and every one of those moments are so worth the feeling of the freedom of loving yourself. So much so that you have the freedom of having a choice of who you want in your life and being able to walk away if they cannot love you the way you need to be loved. I’m not sure if Thich Nhat Hanh meant this to include loving yourself or not, but, I feel like that is the place you need to start to be able to love someone else enough to allow them to be themselves.
What do you think this quote means? Do you feel like you love your partner(s) in a way that they can be free? Do you feel like you are free in your relationship? I would love to hear from you. Drop me a line on social media or send me an email.
